'oops'..-Is Christmas over already? Well, well,- whatta ya know!?! Just shows to go ya! Some people don't pay attention, do they?
Just kidding. I knew Christmas had passed.
How was your Christmas? Ours was pretty good. Mi Espousa, La Donna d'el Nebraska (a little Mex lingo there) and my big brother, Buddy, (Thomas) and I celebrated the conception and birth of Jesus by having dinner together. We had a ham and all the trimmings and I have another waist size to prove it! 'yuk'
We exchanged gifts and I must tell you, it's no small feat to buy for someone who already has everything. I refer to Donna Lee.
I axed her repeatedly what she wanted for Christmas and she, the same 'repeatedly', retorted (her reply was 'quick and witty') she couldn't think of anything, other than world peace, prosperity, good health and harmony,(things that I neither was able or wanted to provide) that she needed or wanted so I went for a stroll through our Communist China factory outlet store, Walmart, and chanced upon a few things she mought (look it up) like. Boy, was she in for a few surprises!
We arose at the chasm of dawn (it was nowhere near the 'crack' of dawn) and exchanged cards and opened our gifts.
I got everything I wanted, acknowledging, of course,that I hadn't known what I had wanted in the first place, since I already had everything that I wanted.'whew'
Anyhoo, Santa brung me a cell phone belt holster, a compass with a whistle on it so if I get lost on the creek whilst prospecting for placer gold I will know which way to more effectively get lost trying to find my way back. 'goody' (If I'm already lost, what good can it possibly be to know which way 'north' is?) I guess I could blow the whistle but who the hell is going to hear it,-someone else who is also lost? 'duh'
And I got a Fender Squire Stratocaster
guitar! 'yippee!' 'Santa' also brought me some new boxer shorts and hankies (evidently 'Santa" read my blog about always needing to have a clean hankie and clean fingernails)
Santa brought my brother a phone with large numbers and three crucial phone numbers programmed to quick dial.
Santa brought Donna Lee a one egg skillet with a personalized spatula! (Santa must have been hungry the day he shopped for Donna Lee)
Isn't that exciting!?!...and a set of thirty knives in a carousel, all of which were so cheap upon removable from the box and inspection, they all returned to Santas' warehouse (the Chinese factory outlet warehouse, Walmart) and were exchanged for a kitchen knife big enough to chop off 'Santas' thumb! bummer!
*I probably need to explain a bit why Santa was 'better' to me this year than he was to Donna Lee. Two years ago Donna Lee left three sugar cookies and a small glass of milk out for Santa to show her appreciation.
She made out so well that Christmas that I was really impressed so last year I exchanged the cookies and milk for half a ham, a left over from Thanksgiving turkey leg, three candied sweet potatoes, a fresh buttered cinnamon roll and a 16 ounce glass of strawberry daiquiri with extra rum.*
Well, there is more to this Christmas Saga but it's about as boring as what you have already read so I'll save it for next year.
In the interim, Have a very Happy New Year from JC and Donna Lee! We love you all and thank you all for your kind comments, especially those of which have made this blog both a pleasure and a privilege! We love you all!