i A Time and a Place...: Thanks, Atsypay...

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Thanks, Atsypay...

16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:

Attributed to Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something good.

Later...

3 Comments:

Blogger tweetey30 said...

Great post. I keep telling my girls to try something new everyday. But they are only 3 and 6 so hopefully it will rub off by time they are older. LOL... You last comment is so true. We try with you men but dotn always succeed. Some men just never want to go from those grapes into something good. Or they go sour. I have seen many of those in my short 30 years CA. To many for that matter.

9:10 AM  
Blogger CA said...

Tweetey, I like number 15. I've been playing rhythm guitar and singing for about 60 of my 71 years and now I have decided to learn how to play lead. Boy, it's hard but, what the hey, I'm retired and have not much more to do. Wish me luck!

9:04 PM  
Blogger tweetey30 said...

Very good luck. My younger brother in law has a band and he's in the Air Force in Minot, North Dakota. So good luck.

9:04 AM  

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