I came home a few weeks ago from somewhere and found a circular spot on the carpet. I looked around for Chico the Wonder Dog. He finally came out from the depths of his bed and stood in front of me. I gave him a dirty look and he looked at me, (he has to look, dogs can't talk)"What's the problem?"
I 'looked' back at him, "Did you leave this spot on the rug?"
He looked at me, "You were gone for six hours."
I looked at him, "The next time I'll rub your nose in it and acquaint you with a folded issue of the Enquirer."
He showed me seventy three teeth, not evenly spaced and very ugly. I reached for the Enquirer and he retreated to his bed. Evidently he wasn't anxious to read the paper.
For the next few weeks I found no more spots on the rug. I couldn't help but wonder how Chico the Wonder Dog was keeping from making spots on the rug now when he couldn't before.
I looked at him, "How are you doing that now when you couldn't before?"
He looked at me, "Forget it!" and he went back to his bed.
I have to explain; Chico the Wonder Dog's bed is out of bounds for me. He is always safe there, in a sanctuary, so to speak. Sometimes he disappears from in front of me, faster than the eye can see, and as if by magic, re-appears in his bed. He's good!
I finally couldn't stand not knowing so I rigged a web cam up on my Dell and pointed it out toward where the latest deed had been done then I turned it on to record to the hard drive and I left the house for eight hours. I mostly sat outside in the pickup, out of sight of Chico the Wonder Dog, and waited patiently.
That night, after Chico the Wonder Dog went to sleep, I played the picture back.
I know you won't believe this; I didn't myself at first.
Chico the Wonder Dog held it in for the first five hours and then, when he couldn't hold it any longer, he did his deed at the prescribed spot. Then (now listen carefully and with an open mind) he walked to the sink, opened the door to the area under the sink, reached in his head and with his teeth, brought out a spray bottle of heavy duty rug cleaner.(He had seen me use it so he knew which bottle it was) He carried it over to the aforementioned spot and put it down on it's side. Then he opened his mouth and clamped the neck of the bottle and the spray nozzle handle between his teeth and began clamping his teeth shut and open until a bunch of sprays had been applied to the spot.
Then he took the bottle back and went into the living room and dragged Donna's footstool into the laundry room (where there are always plenty of used towels) and jumped onto the footstool then leapt onto the washer and got a towel out of the basket. (I told you you wouldn't believe this.)
Then he dragged it over to where the spot had been soaking and sat back on his haunches and with his front paws (his hands) and his mouth, scrubbed the spot until it was "spotless."
Then he put everything back exactly as it was. I couldn't believe my eyes! I went in and woke Donna and told her to come and see. She asked what it was and when I told her, she yawned and said, "uh-huh," and turned over and went back to sleep.
I know this is hard to believe but you just have to know Chico the Wonder Dog. I have never 'looked it' at him and he has never 'indicated it' to me (or anyone else, I guess). It'll stay our secret. But I think we have a better understanding of and a greater respect for each other now. That makes it all worthwhile.